P. SHERMAN 42 WALLABY WAY, SYDNEY

I feel like Nemo. Yes, that is right. I feel like a clownfish. You know how Nemo gets lost and he is really scared and he feels alone sometimes? That is how I feel, too. But you know how Nemo also has amazing adventures and makes some awesome friends? That is happening to me, too.

This has kind of been an emotional week for me, in good and bad ways (just trying to be honest here). Yes, I miss my friends. But it’s more than that. I miss the way my friends make me feel. I miss running downstairs to Megan’s room to talk about all that has happened in the past 45 minutes we have not seen each other. I miss talking to a bunch of random people before 9pm mass. I miss walking into Campus Ministry and seeing a bunch of smiley faces. I miss that feeling like I belong. I miss that feeling of unconditional love from friends. Nemo probably felt like this too at the beginning of the movie. But then came Dory.

I made a friend like Dory this week. Except she does not have short-term memory loss and she cannot breathe underwater. Her name is Mariam and I met her on the train after we went to the Penguin beach (we went to a beach and there were a bunch of penguins just chilling around us, no big deal, except it WAS A BIG DEAL BECAUSE THERE WERE PENGUINS RIGHT NEXT TO ME). I found out she goes to the University of Cape Town, which is the college that most students go to around here and it is close by our house. She is a sophomore like me and she told me about a psychology club that is at her school. Long story short, I ended up going to the psychology club with her later that week! I was in psychology heaven. Everyone was talking about psychology stuff and it was so nerdy and great. My friend Mariam isn’t even a psychology major but she just went. I met her friend named Princess, another American named Cherish, and a girl from Tanzania named Ase. We all hung out the whole time and I have not laughed that much since being here. I felt like I was back with my friends at home and it was a blessed night indeed! I am looking forward to meeting up with them every week.

In case you didn’t know, butterflies are kind of my thing. When I was on a retreat this summer, my spiritual director (an awesome nun from Ireland) told me about signs from God. She said that when two of her family members passed away, she asked God to send her a sign that He was with her, and within seconds two butterflies landed on her. She knew in that instant that God sent her those butterflies. She encouraged me to give it a try, so after we were done talking I went on a walk in the forest nearby. I prayed to God and told him how cool it would be if He could send me a butterfly like he sent Sr. Ita, one, and sure enough, a huge monarch butterfly flew right in front of my face. A wave of something passed through me, I am not sure what. Faith? Hope? Joy? It was one of the greatest feelings and moments.  We went hiking yesterday on a new trail and it absolutely breathtaking. We hiked up to a cave and then ended up at a reservoir where we swam. The whole time I kept seeing butterflies and it made me so happy and brought me back to that moment at the retreat. It was a good reminder of God’s familiar presence in this unfamiliar place.

OK SO NOW FOR MY BIG NEWS……I have found a good faith community!!! I love my St. Michael’s community here. It is a Church about fifteen minutes away and I go to the 7pm Sunday mass every week. I am starting to see familiar faces and I get a lot of “hellos” when I go, which is really nice. I am starting to get more involved; I even read part of the petitions at mass tonight! They have a young adult group called Genesis that I am going to be a part of. I am going to assist with their “Life Series” they are putting on. It is a nine-week program where young adults gather to talk about “gritty topics” which I am not sure what that means but it will surely be interesting. It is a young Church, which is awesome, and the choir seems some really rockin songs. Tonight after mass they gave out ROSES. I mean come on, how can you beat that? 

I made another friend, who I can compare to Crush because she is really chill. Her name is Caryn and she is a core team member of Life Teen, the youth group at St. Michaels. She was the first person I met at the Church and was the reason I was first drawn to St. Michael’s. We met for ice cream this week and it was so lovely to get to know her better. You cannot help but feel relaxed and loved when you are with her because she really listens to what you have to say (and she is good at picking out ice cream places…this place was yumzo). She goes to UCT but she actually studied abroad at UC Santa Cruz last year! She really liked America and I am trying to encourage her to go to graduate school there for Theology. Oh, and one awesome thing about her is that she likes to pray. Like in the ice cream place we prayed (I told you she was cool). And I loved it.

I also made another friend at my school (UWC) named Ashley who I mentioned before. She is from South Africa and we got together for lunch again this week. She had me cracking up and I was so happy and myself hanging out with her. She does not mind answering all of my questions about South Africa, although sometimes she laughs at things I ask. I am trying to get her to come shark cage diving with us because she is very afraid of sharks. We will see! I will hopefully see her again this week for lunch.

There is one time a week that I feel really connected to Liz (my sister) and that is Wednesdays when I am at school all day and I have a lot of free time. I go to the stadium where people play rugby and I get in a workout. This involves walking around the track, running up and down the stadium steps, and doing burpees. The whole time I listen to One Direction, who Liz loves. It makes me smile to know that she might be listening to them, too. Some of the songs are really not good at all and I try to muster through those. Last time when I was walking around the track, the sprinklers went off and I got to run through them. Afterwards, I looked down and saw a rainbow in a puddle. Nice.

I found a penny from God on the ground yesterday when I really needed to see one. I couldn’t pick it up, though, because I think it had gum on the other side. Oh well. Still made me happy.

OHHH wait until you hear this! I went to praise and worship at a Church nearby with a group from St. Michael’s. It lasted the whole night long and it involved lots of singing to songs, adoration, a talk, and reconciliation. It felt SO good to be singing all of my favorite Christian songs from back home. It was cool to connect with everyone from South Africa in that way since we all knew the words. The speaker had just flown in from the United States, and when he said he was from St. Louis I nearly lost it. His talk was very inspiring. It was about how since the day his wife found out she had stage four cancer, she was confident that God was going to take care of her.  Sure enough, after three rounds of chemotherapy, her cancer was completely gone. The doctor said it was a miracle. Hearing Steve (that is the guy from STL) talk about his wife and children with such love gave me goose bumps. My friend Cami and I ran up to Steve afterwards, and he was so excited to meet us. I ran into him at mass last night again, and he said he would say hello to the arch for me when he flew in today to STL. It was definitely meant to be that I went to the praise and worship that night.

I got to go to the observatory again on Saturday and this time some friends came along! We learned about other galaxies that are out in space, which is a crazy thought. Sometimes we forget that there is more out there than just us. Then we got to look in telescopes and we saw Jupiter, which was beautiful. Some of my favorite learning happens outside of the classroom, at events like this.

Some questions in the back of my mind regard helping the people here. We drive past the townships all of the time, and it is the saddest sight I have ever seen. There are hundreds of little shacks that people live in. They look very dirty and I cannot imagine a whole family living in one. What am I supposed to do now that I have seen this? How do I help? An interesting thing is that my friend went on a tour through a township and he said the people all seemed very happy. They appreciated what they did have. That was amazing to me and it reminded me a lot of my trip to Venezuela where I saw so much poverty but also so much happiness. I think there is a lesson to be learned there. I hope to get a tour through a township soon.

For a classroom assignment, my roommate and I were paired together and we were told to go interview UWC students for twenty minutes about a problem on campus. We picked to talk about apartheid and we went to find out if there were still lasting affects of apartheid today. We interviewed people of all different colors, and everyone agreed that students overall are past apartheid and that everyone gets along. It gave me hope and I was glad to see that this generation is going to be different than the past. The people my age are called the “Born Free” generation because they were born after apartheid. They are going to be voting in the upcoming elections here, which is really monumental and exciting.

For the longest time I have had this heavy feeling in my heart that I am supposed to be doing something particular. I have tried lots of different things to make that feeling satisfied, like going on a discernment retreat, trying new activities, making new friends. This is the first time where that feeling is not there and I think it is because I am doing what I am supposed to do. I am supposed to be here. I need to be here. It is a crazy realization!

The more I think about it, I am actually strikingly like Nemo. At the beginning of the movie he was scared of travelling through the ocean because he had never been outside of his home, and by the end of the movie he was not afraid. I feel like I am gaining a new found confidence in myself that was not there before. I may have run into some “jellyfish” like Nemo did, and I will surely run into many more, but I am excited to continue on this journey of finding who I am supposed to be.

DISCOVERING ME

There are no extra people alive today. Every single one of us is here for a reason, a special purpose—a mission. Above all else, be significant. Make your life matter. Be of use. And be of service to as many people as possible. This is how each of us can shift from the realm of the ordinary into the heights of the extraordinary.

This is a quote from the book I just finished, The Secret Letters of the Monk Who Sold His Ferrari. It was on the bookshelf here in the house and it has been my companion these past couple of weeks. It has taught me a lot of good life lessons that I will carry with me for a long time. I really loved it and would recommend it to anyone who is searching for some direction in life or simply a really good read.

I will start by sharing my wonderful adventure day with my friend Duke. Her and I got to explore Cape Town, which was nice because before that we had always been travelling in a large group. We took the train to Blue Garage, a market close by our favorite beach. We were proud that we managed to navigate the trip by ourselves, and we were pleasantly surprised to find a lot of great clothes, food and other vendors. Duke bought me a cupcake that I ate later on the beach…hands down best cupcake I have ever had. I really enjoy communal living because you get to know people more day by day. I am glad I got that day with Duke.

St. Michaels Church is starting to become my new Church home here. I have started to meet people at the 6pm Sunday mass, which attracts mostly young adults. It is nice to have something similar to SLU mass. I have been out of my comfort zone and trying a lot of new things, so the feeling I got when the mass started was amazing. It was relief and happiness and utter joy in my faith and in my choice to be Catholic. I love that no matter where you go, a Catholic mass is pretty much the same. I felt at peace. I felt at home. I even had a meeting with a couple of people on the Youth Ministry team, and we got to know each other better. They gave me some suggestions on how to get involved in campus ministry activities (I might be in a CLC!!). I will keep you posted on that.

Truth Coffee=best coffee. This place used to be a fabric company and now it is a unique café that makes you feel right when you enter. I wish all of my friends at home could sit down with me there and enjoy each other’s presence. Bliss.

A group of us went to a field nearby to play ultimate Frisbee and before we knew it, a national ultimate Frisbee player came down from his office building to join us. After a couple of hours of playing, we were all exhausted but it was a great time. Afterwards the man talked to us and gave us some tips on cool things to do in Cape Town. I love getting to know the local people here. They are very friendly and open to talking to us Americans.

I had lunch at school with my new friend Ashley, who is from Cape Town. She is actually majoring in psychology and theology like me, which is pretty darn awesome and that took me by surprise. Apparently theology is a rare major here because many schools do not offer it (another friend I made is looking into going to the United States for graduate school for theology). Anyways, we had a great time over our lunch break and she answered all of my questions about the proper way to say things/do things here (traffic lights are called “robots” here fyi). She is my first South African friend! I hope to hangout with her more.

I have been desperately searching for Christian/Catholic organization on campus, but it is hard to get involved at school because they do not have an office for this type of things or any kind of brochure like SLU would. I finally found a poster that looked promising, so I went to the meeting during lunchtime. What I found was jaw dropping and awesome. It was a Christian group that prays in tongues. Have you ever heard of that?? I sure have not. I walked in and everyone was talking to themselves really loudly and I did not know what was going on. Praying in tongues comes from the Bible, they explained to me, when it says the Holy Spirit came down and the people started talking in tongues. You simply pray to God and let the Holy Spirit work through you, but you are saying everything out loud. The cool thing is, no one can understand each other, because everyone is talking so loud. Then we got a partner and we asked them what they wanted us to pray over them, and then we held hands and prayed out loud for that person. It was a really unique experience. I love learning about different ways to pray. It opens my eyes to the different ways one can celebrate and worship God.  

My friend Kari and I went to the Company Gardens, which is a giant, beautiful garden that was created when the Dutch stopped in Cape Town many many years ago. Once you walk in it for a while and enjoy its beauty, you can go to the many museums that surround it. We went to the Slave Lodge, which was sad and made me think about another time period that I hadn’t thought about before in South Africa. I usually think about apartheid, but then learning about all of the slaves that were in Cape Town before that even occurred made me realize how much I still have to learn about the place I am at.

One of my dear friends that I have made here is Maira. We go on daily walk/jogs together and I really look forward to that part of my day. It is nice getting to know her a little better day by day. We also share a love for chocolate, so we have gone to a nearby café to get our chocolate fix at night.

My favorite day I have had so far occurred on my “me” day. As bad as it sounds to say that my favorite day has been the day I was by myself, it was truly magical. The group went on a wine tour, but I hung back to see what explorer Hannah could find in Cape Town. I started my day at Truth coffee, obviously, and did homework while I sipped my cappuccino that had a heart drawn in it. Then I walked up to the Book Lounge, a nearby bookstore. I did more homework there and I found myself talking to a lady about how I was majoring in theology and she shared with me how she has recently found the Church. People are just great and I learn something from every person I encounter. I have learned that every time you talk to someone, that is an opportunity to grow and learn something. Then I went to Company Gardens again and walked around to look at the flowers and trees once again. Get this…I went to the PLANETARIUM next. I was too excited. I reclined back in my chair and learned all about the constellations and it made me so happy because in case you didn’t know I really love stars. Then I went to the Isiko Museum, which basically has a lot of replicas of animals that are found in Africa. It was kind of creepy so I walked through it really quickly. There were giant whale skeletons, though, which were pretty cool! GUESS WHAT I DID AT NIGHT?? I went to the observatory close by our house and I got to listen to a professor from Italy talk about stars and then we got to look through a HUGE telescope and look at Jupiter. I could see the stripes on it!! Mind blowing. During this time, I also talked to two men who grew up here in Cape Town during apartheid. It was interesting hearing their perspective on it, especially since one man was white and one was not. Everyone here is very open about sharing their stories. My brain is like a sponge here, trying to soak up as much as I can. Basically this day rocked because I was able to be the most independent I have ever been in my whole life. I was able to choose. I was able to be. I was able to LIVE.

Every time I open my purse, I see my Mother Theresa coin that Liz gave me. Makes me smile. Also, whenever I see a message from Liz, my heart I think comes out of my chest because I am so excited. Everyone in my house knows who she is and I love that.

You might know that I like finding pennies on the ground because I believe they are pennies from God. Well, I found a penny today. JOY. And even more impressive since they do not use pennies here. DOUBLE JOY.

I am starting to find my favorite places here in Cape Town. We live in Observatory, which is just an area in Cape Town known for its young people and hip places. I am a frequenter now at the local bookstore and the few cafes that surround it. I love doing homework there and people watching. I can learn a lot from just looking at my surroundings.

We finally had family dinner last night! I got to do the opening prayer and I also included a haiku that I made up right before. Hehe. It was breakfast for dinner for this clan! Afterwards we did our highs and lows of our time thus far, as we all laid on the side of the house underneath the stars. It was a really special moment for all of us I think.

Almost done, I promise. This experience has been so transforming for me and has taught me so many things so I am just going to ramble off for a minute on some of those things. First, the lifestyle here is so different. It is not about go go go…it is about being in the moment and I think that is extremely important. Every moment here to me is a gift and I try to find joy in all things because I know it is there. Even when I am walking to the store, or sitting in the grass, or hanging up my clothes to dry, I seem to keep finding JOY. By being in the moment, I am able to appreciate the smaller things even more. And you know how much I love the small things. And another thing…my heart always feels so full here. Full with wonder, curiosity, and mostly God. You know that feeling you get when you are on a “God high?” Well, I am in a permanent state of that feeling right now. My heart is about to burst with how close I feel to God when I am here. I feel so alive here! I feel like I am learning more about myself. I am enjoying time alone more than I ever have before. I have no problem being by myself like I did before. I use it as a time for reflection and peace. I also am getting a better hold on the values that are instilled in me that I want to keep. I am understanding the importance of finding the good in everyone. I am learning to not judge others. I am learning that some things I do are not what everyone else is going to do, but that is okay because I am being myself. I am learning to love myself. I am learning to not be hard on myself. I am learning how much I enjoy learning new things. I am learning how to not be afraid. I am embracing being unsure. I am embracing spontaneity. I am learning to love life on a whole new level. I am saying “yes.” I am looking for God in all things. I am a sister and a daughter and a friend. I am scared. I am hopeful. I am a daughter of Christ. I am happy. I am me.