MAMA T KNOWS BEST

“Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.” 

~Mother Theresa

These words really resonate inside of me. It is the small acts of love and kindness that have completely WOWed me recently. But I will start by sharing the bigger things that have happened to me over the past few weeks…

Big Moments

1. My housemates and I went on a retreat in Hermanus, South Africa. We stayed at a beautiful retreat center in the middle of the most beautiful gift of nature I have ever seen. We had free time to hike and explore (we were almost hunted down by baboons), and we also got the chance to have group sessions with John De Gruchy, author of Reconciliation: Restoring Justice, a book we read.
2. We went to Robben Island, the horrifying place Nelson Mandela was imprisoned for 18 years of his life. The ferry boat ride there left me with many mixed emotions; if I looked behind me, I could see one of the best view of Cape Town I had ever seen, and if I looked ahead of me, the gloom and sadness of Robben Island stared me in the face. It was hard to wrap my mind around the fact that I was walking the same steps that Mandela and many other prisoners did only a few decades ago. One of the hardest sites to see was the Lime Quarry, where the prisoners were forced to chip at rock all day long, often without food and without protection. Many felt the consequences of this, not only emotionally and psychologically, but physically—Mandela almost lost his vision and he could not produce tears in his eyes from all of the dust. Imagining that someone could be inhumane enough to take away one’s ability to produce tears is sickening. I had the chance to sit along the shore and reflect for a little while, and it was one of the most intense emotions I have ever felt. My heart was aching for the prisoners as I looked at the waves crashing into the large, jagged rocks by the shore. It was a very humbling experience, making me realize that the crosses I bear are nothing compared to what the prisoners had to go through.
3. I had one of the best birthday parties I have ever had (it was not the BEST because my birthday buddy was not there). Fifteen of my housemates came with me to Sunday night mass at St. Mikes. I was very blessed to have them all go with me so I could show them my other home here. I was told that the sandwich-making for the homeless that happens after mass was not doing so well, so I asked my friends to bring some bread and peanut butter and they all pulled through! After mass we made a ton of sandwiches and I am so proud of all of them. We finished off the party by going out for ice cream at my favorite ice cream place. I think they all agreed it was yummo.
4. Life Series has continued to be such a grace for me. Tuesday nights are my favorite, because I get to spend a few hours with some of my favorite people who inspire me to be my best. Our last Life Series discussion was on “Life’s Pressures and Stresses,” which is something we can all relate to as young adults. I cannot wait to share what I learned back at SLU. Every student needs to attend something like Life Series because as Catholics we face many situations that we do not know how to deal with or react to. Life Series does not have the answers, but it does offer a space to discuss these things and learn from each other. I love how real and authentic it is.
5.  I did not get an internship I recently applied for, which at first was really a bummer. However. I have this best friend, named God, who always has my back. And He (along with many of my friends and family) told me that when one door closes, another opens. I am very much looking forward to see what door He has in store for me to open!! BRING. IT. ON.
6. Holy smokes guys listen to this story: My lovely mother got me the Humans of New York (HONY) book for my birthday. If you don’t know what this is, stop reading this and go look for it on Facebook. The book completely captives me and nearly brings me to tears every time I read it. Each person is so beautiful and I can see God every picture. The guy has quite a gift. Anywhos, I was on the train reading the book, when a woman asked to take my picture reading it. Amused, I asked why, and she said that she does Humans of South Africa and that she wanted to take my picture for it! It was one of the moments where the universe aligns and you realize just how small the world is.
7. I went on a retreat with my lovely Life Series team from St. Mikes! We drove an hour away to a beautiful retreat place in the middle of rolling hills. The retreat’s purpose was to build stronger community, which definitely happened. I had so many intentional conversations and it made me take a step back to ask God how I got so lucky to find this group. Some highlights: we watched a movie called Common Ground that created a spark in me to learn more about Catholicism AND we swam in a dam all afternoon under the bright sun. Bliss.
8. I am a teacher now. Yes, you read that right. On Thursdays I am teaching in a Catholic grade school that is located in one of the townships. It is going to be one of the most challenging, yet rewarding parts of my time here. In the mornings I work with three fourth graders who are going to be in a spelling bee in June! I am so proud of them because they already know a lot of words. They are really fun to work with and I really cherish that hour we have together. In the afternoon, I teach a huge class of seventh graders all by myself. We have been working on english thus far, by reading a script of a play. I am going to try really hard to put together some good lesson plans and ways to get to know the students better. I only have eight weeks left with them, and I want to motivate them and teach them in some way. I have never done anything like this before, so if anyone has any tips for me, that would be wonderful. 
9. My last “big” news is actually VERY BIG because it is that today I had the best day I have had since being here! What happened, you ask? Well I will tell you. I woke up at 4:50am sharp and met some of my awesome St. Mikes friends to go on a hike. But not just any hike, a stations of the cross hike. Who comes up with these things?! The experience combined all of my favorite things—God, great friends, nature, and breaking a sweat. We hiked Devil’s Peak, which is (I think) the hardest hike out of the three major ones in Cape Town. It was interesting that we were hiking Devil’s Peak, considering we were hiking to commemorate all that Jesus went through on Good Friday. My legs were on fire AND my heart was on fire for God (heh). The small breaks we took to read station reflections helped the burning thighs issue. When we got to the top, it was a very rewarding feeling. We spent a while hanging out at the top and refueling, while have some awesome conversations about pilgrimages, saints, and Mary. We also sang some church songs because I had my bulletin from mass with me. Joyous. The way back down brought more aches and good conversation:) 

Small Moments (that were very impactful)

1. On the Hermanus retreat, Conner and I made a small trek to the nearby waterfall at six in the morning for an early morning wake-up. I felt so free with the water rushing over me! I also couldn’t breathe because it was so cold. But it was so worth it and we had a very nice conversation.
2. Also on the retreat, Molly and I laid under the stars before dinner one night. I really enjoyed talking to her, and the view of the stars was one of the best I have ever seen.
3. There was a prayer hut on the mountain in Hermanus. I walked to it one night and I was in there for an hour praying, really  praying, to God. It was one of those moments where you have to outstretch your arms because God’s love is so PRESENT and you have to hug Him.
4. I just ate vanilla flapjacks with maple syrup and dollop of vanilla ice cream. That happened.
5.  My good friend (and inspiration) from Life Series is one of the most put-together people you will ever meet. This week, it has been extra special to see her silliness come out. I have seen her take ten minutes to park her car, I saw her run in her high heels because we were late to mass, and I got to see her with 3D classes. She is so lovely in every way.
6. I got to watch my Saint Mike's friend drink tea at my favorite bookstore (I am a coffee drinker, ahem). I not only learned a lot about him, but he taught me a lot about my faith in that short time together. He knows a lot about things I do not, so I am excited to learn from him. He truly embodies what it means to be a Catholic AND he is a good guitar player.
7. I got to drink some caffeine with two of my house mates (Kari and Sarah) before school last week and it made me so happy to have that time with them.
8. I have made a friend at St. Mike's that is so passionate about spreading God's love it is INSANE in the best way. His love for God is like nothing I have ever seen before; it is so inspiring. We said a rosary together after mass today. Beautiful. 
9. I have a friend at St. Mike's that I call my living saint. She makes you see God when you talk to her, you know? What a blessing and a gift she is! We talked life over with some ice cream this week. Then we cuddled to keep warm on the mountain today. 
10. Last night, those of us who didn't go on the river trip watched a movie on a projector at our house. Not only was it an amazing movie (Babel), but I was truly happy to be there with those people. 
11. My friend from Northwestern University went back to the States, but he is greatly missed! I am very grateful for the friendships I am gaining through experience, like this one. It is truly awesome to find friends that I can talk about my faith with.
12. I have a geologist friend from St. Mike's that has not only taught me a lot about rocks, but she has taught me what true kindness and friendship looks like. She inspires me to follow my heart because I see her doing that in her life. 

"Letting Go" by Matt Maher

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jTpM6DCRXiQ

I stand in awe of You

And everything You've done for me

Your speak your words into my life

And where You are is where I wanna be

GIVE ME ONE REASON TO STAY HERE

How about a million reasons? Gah I love Cape Town. Tracy Chapman's "Give Me One Reason" has been my latest go-to song. Who knew a girl sang this song? I did not. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ym1eDeOxq14

But now on to other matters.

Receiving love from so many people has made a great impact on me during this journey. The love of old friends, new friends and strangers. I stole borrowed a daily devotional book from the retreat I just returned from. One of the passages is about God's unfailing love for us. It says, "And even when our love for him wanes and grows cold, his love grows strong still. Nothing can ever stop it. Nothing." It includes a scripture verse, Ps 33:22, which says, "May your unfailing love rest upon us, O Lord, even as we put our hope in you."  God's love is overflowing, like the water that has been boiling too long.  The love I have felt from others is really God's love, working through them. Neat, huh?

My K-House family returned from their spring break trip, and it is great to have them back! The house was getting too quiet. I loved hearing about the safari and their videos from bungee jumping are hilarious. Although I missed out on some pretty radical things, I feel so much peace and grace in my decision not to go. That week was filled with so much love and friendship and I would not have wanted to give that up. 

One experience over break showed me how much I have grown in my faith. I went ballroom dancing again with my lovely friend Roxy, and my purse got stolen while I was busy doing the cha-cha (that is not an easy dance). I feel like if this happened a few months ago, it probably would have ruined my whole day. But honestly, all I could do in that moment was thank God that I was not hurt and that I was having a great night with my friend. It also helped that the moon was beautiful that night. Sure, the person may have taken my money, cellphone, iPhone, drivers license, school I.D., favorite headband,  and house keys, but they probably did not know that I have something infinitively greater than all of those things--an unfailing love for God. And that love is what is going to get me through anything (even my sad attempts at ballroom dancing). 

My friend from St. Mikes, Caryn, met up with me for cappuccinos. Cappuccinos with Caryn. Every time I talk with her, I feel like I learn something about myself and God. We share many of the same experiences and thoughts and it is great to have someone like her to lean on. She is a year older, so I feel like she is the wise older friend who is passing along her knowledge to me. She loves God very much and always wants to pass along that love to others. She is the friend I mentioned who always prays with me before we depart ways. HOW COOL, am I right? 

I had a Skype interview for the Campus Ministry internship at SLU for next fall. I was soooo excited to see all of the campus ministers. It is nuts not seeing them all of the time. They make SLU what it is. I am going to run up and hug all of them really tightly when I return. Say a prayer for all of those that applied for the internships! 

On my last day of break, I hiked Lion's Head (for the 4th or 5th time) with my friend Toju that lives down the street in the Northwestern (Chicago) house. I am really glad that happened, because it was such a happy time! I laughed a ton. Afterwards, we went to the Eastern Food Bazaar. One word--hummus. So much hummus. And it was so cheap and yummy and hummusy. Yes.

Lizzy and I turned 20! I went to Ashley's house after school on my birthday, and her mom made me a beautiful chocolate cake. They sang to me and let me make a wish and blow out the candles. It was the first time I could not think of a wish because I am so content. Since I told Ashley that Liz and I always eat chinese food on our birthday since it was our first food after baby food, she took me to a really nice chinese restaurant. We spent a lot of time talking about our faith, which was like WHOA so nice. We also played arcade games (I earned a horse keychain) and we went ice skating. I felt so loved even though I was many miles away from my family and friends. And speaking of my friends, getting all of their birthday wishes made me feel so lucky to have all of them!

I have to warn my SLU friends, my beautiful friend Emily just sent me in the mail a Cafe Ventana shirt, so I think my love for that place just increased, if that is possible. Now I might go there three times a day, rather than the usual two.

I went to Taize prayer at the Cathedral in town last week. It was a little different than SLU's Taize prayer, but it had the same effect. I felt refreshed and peaceful afterwards. I love connecting to the community through prayer like that. I walked the labyrinth afterwards, and decided I want a labyrinth at my house when I am older. Then I will let all of my guests go walk it so they can feel happy, because that is what labyrinths do. 

I have been spending a lot of times in coffee shops and bookstores journaling/reflecting/looking at people. I hope when I return back home, I can continue feeling this way. I feel calm and present, two things that were not really in my vocabulary before this trip. Life is not only fuller with God in the picture, but it is fuller when you can learn to be present. By choosing to be happy with what is in front of you and finding joy with what you have, moments mean so much more. One of my favorite things to do, which I am doing right now, is to sit in a coffee shop and pray for each person there. I like the idea of blessing a stranger's day, because he or she may really need it. 

St. Mike's is easily my favorite thing about Cape Town. I never thought I would find a Church like this, but low and behold, my heart has fallen for this amazing community. Going to Church on Sunday nights is the highlight of my week, as is going to Life Series on Tuesdays. I have learned so much from the past couple weeks of Life Series. The topics we have discussed our "Relationships" and "Sexuality." These are very prevalent topics in the Church that spark questions with young adults, so hearing people share their stories and their thoughts on them has helped me form my own beliefs. Hugging Chantal, hearing Gareth laugh, talking with Sebastian, meeting Chelsea, teasing Brendan, driving with Hayley, cooking with Amy, hanging out with Roxy, praying with Caryn…these are all moments that would not happen without St. Mikes. And these are the moments that are contributing to me becoming the Hannah I want to be and truly am <3

Let's pray for each other, eh?? Pray for me, because I might be getting a new service site that I go to once a week. Pray that I have the strength to take on this exciting, but surely difficult transition. Also, pray for my housemates, that they may find comfort in God's friendship. I will pray that whoever is reading this finds joy in the small things and lives each day for the precious gift it is. I also pray that you may find God in yourself and that you know how worthy you are of God's love.