Life Series
Talk—“Living Out Your Faith” 4/29/14
Last year was the first time I really felt connected to God. I also felt really
alone at times, though. Like one of my favorite Christian songs, “Where I Belong,” says,
“All I know is I’m not home yet, this is not where I belong.” I felt like God
was my true source of joy, and I could not find a community to share this joy
with. I did end up finding dear and lifelong friends to share my faith
with, but I was still yearning for a community. I would easily get frustrated
with worldly problems, and I still do. The lyrics “Take this world and give me
Jesus” rang in my ears. All I wanted was God in my life and I wanted others to
experience Him, too. I felt like I would always be on this path, alone.
But then I came to South Africa, and things changed. Words cannot describe this
transformation that has taken place inside of me. It is like the Holy Spirit
came and trickled through my whole body, and then God came and grabbed my heart
and hugged it and told me He would never let go. After this awakening, I completely
surrendered myself to God. I looked God in the eyes and told Him that my life
is going to be used to do His will and serve Him. I completely gave myself up
to my Creator.
I will be honest, looking back at my journal from a couple of months ago, I
talk about how lonely I am. Like the song says, “Sometimes it feels like I’m
watching from the outside. Sometimes it feels like I’m breathing, but am I
alive?” I relied on God as a friend, since I felt like I did not have anyone to
go to. I honestly thought I would feel that way the whole time I was here, but
I was okay with it since I had God with me.
My heart was aching for a long time for true friendship. I tried to be patient,
always praying and waiting for God to send me what I needed. I go on daily
walks here, and I would always look up to the sky and ask God to please send me
the friends I was so desperately searching for.
Now, if you look at my journal from a couple of days ago, I talk about how some
of these days have been the best in my life because I feel so loved and
accepted. God has truly answered my prayers! Not only did he give me one
friend, but he gave me a whole Church community! God truly provides. I am the
happiest I have been in my whole life. I don’t even have enough fingers and
toes to count the number of people that have touched my life here and have
fulfilled my heart’s desire of true friendship.
I have finally found a place where I belong. I am struggling with the fact that
I have to leave all of my new friends at St. Michael’s, because I cannot
imagine living without them. However, they have all become family to me, and
family stays with you wherever you go. I found this quote and I immediately
thought of my Cape Town experience. “You will never be completely at home
again, because a part of your heart will always be elsewhere. That’s the price
you pay for the richness of loving and knowing people in more than one place.”
Once a God explosion occurs in your heart like it has for me in South Africa,
it cannot be ignored. I had to ask myself if I was willing to risk it all to
accomplish the plans God has for my life. The answer was “yes.” Living out
one’s faith means living out one’s call to be extraordinary. Mark Hart, author
of the Life Teen Blog, says that being extraordinary “happens by allowing the
Holy Spirit to unleash the greatness of your soul. It happens through a devoted
prayer life. It happens by frequent encounters with Christ in the Sacraments,
most specifically in the Eucharist. And it happens by allowing the Blessed
Mother to truly become your own mother, as Christ intended (John 19:27). It
happens by accepting the challenge to live a heroic virtue, pursuing greatness
through humility every day before your feet even hit the floor.” Let me repeat
that last part—“every day before your feet even hit the floor.” That’s right.
It starts from the moment you open your eyelids in the morning and wipe away
your eye boogers. I knew I could not do any of this, though, until I completely
surrendered myself to God. So I prayed to God the Prayer of Surrender:
Loving Father, I surrender to You today with all my heart and soul.
Please come into my heart in a deeper way. I say “Yes” to You
today. I open all the secret places in my heart to you and say, “Come on
in.” Jesus, You are Lord of my whole life. I believe in You and
receive You as my Lord and Savior. I hold nothing back. Holy
Spirit, bring me deeper conversion to the person of Jesus Christ. I
surrender all to you: my health, my family, my resources, occupation, skills,
relationships, time management, successes and failures. I release it, and
let it go. I surrender my understanding of how things out to be; my
choices and my will. I surrender to You the promises I have kept and the
promises I have failed to keep. I surrender my weaknesses and strengths
to You. I surrender my emotions, my fears, my insecurities, my everything
(continue to surrender other areas as the Holy Spirit reveals them to
you). Lord, I surrender my entire life to You, the past, the present and
the future. In sickness and in health, in life and in death, I belong to
You. “Take, Lord, and receive all my liberty, my memory, my understanding, and
my entire will, all that I have and possess. You have given all of
me. To you, O Lord, and I return it. All is Yours. Dispose of
it wholly according to Your will. Give me Your Love and Your grace, for
this is sufficient for me.”
By surrendering myself to God, I was able to receive God’s grace to do
His will and be extraordinary. This might seem like a tall order, to be
extraordinary, however, Mark Hart says that the virtue of the Sacramental grace
is within us, so we already have the gifts we need to change the world. “What
we need to do is to actively allow the Holy Spirit to “blow up” our plans and
our lives and lead us where He wants us to go.” This will unleash the fullness
of our gifts of our power. I can see this actively working in my life—from the
moment I surrendered myself to God, life has been so much more full of life and
extraordinary things. I feel like I am walking in different footsteps, but
maybe that is because I am. I am now walking in the footsteps of the Lord.
The great part is, we don’t have to worry or stress over what we are
capable of, because God already knows, since He created us (Jeremiah 1:4-8,
Ephesians 2:10). Not only does the Lord know how awesome you are, but he knows
how awesome you can be with the help of His grace (2 Corinthians 5:15,
Galatians 2:20). God knows that I am capable of loving others, and that is why
He has graced me with the challenge of showing those who don’t feel love what
love is. Sometimes this feels like an overwhelming task, but I know God desires
it of me and will be there to help me.
Mother Theresa talked about this problem we face. She said, “The
greatest disease in the West today is not TB or leprosy; it is being unwanted,
unloved, and uncared for. We can cure physical diseases with medicine, but the
only cure for loneliness, despair, and hopelessness is love. There are many in
the world who are dying for a piece of bread but there are many more dying for
a little love. The poverty in the West is a different kind of poverty -- it is
not only a poverty of loneliness but also of spirituality. There's a hunger for
love, as there is a hunger for God.” When I read this, my heart leapt because I
completely agree with her words and I desire to help.
Sometimes I doubt
myself that I can take this task on of doing God’s will for me and loving
everyone, but then I think of another Mother Theresa quote. She said, “Do not
think that love in order to be genuine has to be extraordinary. What we need is
to love without getting tired. Be faithful in small things because it is in
them that your strength lies.” I find great relief and strength in this quote.
Mark Hart touched on this, too. He said, “You may not have the vocation to
become Pope, but you do have the vocation to love. You’re probably not called
to face down Nazi oppression but there is plenty of depression at your local
school or job that would benefit from Christ’s light shining forth from within
you. You might feel obscure, forgotten or insignificant in the grand scheme of
things, but Christ is calling you greatness, and to a personal mission.” I hope
that I can fulfill the mission God’s asks of me, and that I can be
extraordinary. I know this is possible, because “I can do all things, through Christ
who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13).
So what else has Han been up to? Here are some of the highlights:
*I had one of the BEST Easters ever. A friend from church had people over who do not have families here.There was karaoke in the kitchen, homemade hot cross bun ice-cream, and lots of good conversations and quality time with amazing people.
*Molly, Caitlin, and I (two girls from my house) had an awesome day on Long's Street doing homework, shopping, and going to the Middle Eastern Food Bazaar. It is simple days like this that can mean the most.
*Life Series is nearing its end, unfortunately. This Tuesday will be the last one. It is hard to imagine it being over, because Tuesday nights are my favorite time of the whole week (and Sunday mass, obviously :)). I have learned so much about my faith and I have made the best of friends through Life Series. Even though it is ending, those friendships will continue for a LONG time :)
*I have a newfound love for reading scripture. I am constantly googling scripture verses and I never fail to find something that fits the situation I am in. I am finally understanding the great beauty of the Bible and how much it can help guide me.
*Rome Sweet Home. Go read this book, please. My friend showed it to me and it has opened my eyes to the grace of the Eucharist and how precious it is.
*Cappuccinos with Caryn happened, again :) She never fails to show me what a true friend looks like. I love how silly we can be and also how much we help each other grow.
*I had the most lovely hangout with Chelsea, my geologist friend. We went to Knead, a popular bakery here that smells like fresh bread. She has a way of making you feel like you have been friends forever. I have learned so much from her and she is a very special person indeed!
*"Best friends are hard to find, but when one comes along, they will make life worthwhile." This is Gareth in a nutshell. Life throws us many different challenges and obstacles, but finding someone like him with so much joy and love in his heart makes life so beautiful. He is constantly showing me through his actions Romans 1:7, "to all who are beloved of God in Rome, called as saints: Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ (we are all called to be saints:))."
PS: Sorry I have a lack of photos, but ever since my phone got stolen I haven't really taken any pictures. You can be sure that I am holding all of the memories I am making close to my heart, and I will be more than happy to share when I get back home :)
This is so beautiful Hannah! You are beautiful. It looks like Christ is doing big things :)
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