SERENITY NOW

I remember saying the Serenity Prayer before every high school cross-country practice:

God grant me the serenity 
to accept the things I cannot change; 

courage to change the things I can; 


and wisdom to know the difference.



Living one day at a time; 


enjoying one moment at a time; 


accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; 


taking, as He did, this sinful world
 as it is, not as I would have it; 


trusting that He will make all things right
 if I surrender to His Will; 


that I may be reasonably happy in this life 
and supremely happy with Him
 forever in the next. 


Amen.

I realize now, looking back on this prayer, how much this can relate to my life in Cape Town at the moment. 

~God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change~

I sadly have to leave this place I now call my home in a short three weeks. I have fallen in love with this city and the people here. I no longer feel like a tourist. I have a daily routine. I still look at the mountains surrounding me everyday and I cannot believe I am so lucky to be here. I cannot change the fact that I am leaving, though. I hope to take everything I have learned--things about myself, God, friendships, people--and bring that back with me. Although this chapter of my life is coming to a close, I am looking forward to seeing what the next chapter has in store, and how I can integrate my South Africa experience into it. 

~courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference~

It is overwhelming at times to see how many people here are struggling when I am blessed with all of the things I need and more. Even though I cannot help everyone, I can help some. And this is all God is calling us to do. Remember Mother Teresa's quote: “Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.” I go on daily walks, and often times I will bring with me peanut butter and jelly sandwiches (or jam, as they say here) to pass out to people that need it. It makes me feel really connected to my brothers and sisters in Christ. Even though a sandwich is not going to fix the problem, at least for that one moment when I ask the person his or name and hand over a sandwich, he or she can feel the worthiness that is deserved by all of God's children.

~Living one day at a time; enjoying one moment at a time;~

I have been trying to live each day to the fullest here, knowing that my days here are numbered. I try to see at least one of my new friends each day because they bring me so much joy. Here are some of the enjoyable moments I have recently experienced: 

I had the last Life Series night last Tuesday. It was a very bittersweet event. I was sad to see Life Series ending, but happy to share that night with people who have become family to me. For anybody needing catching up, Life Series was a 9 week program held at St. Michael's Catholic Church, dealing with topics that every young person faces and is challenged with. The series aimed to enlighten and challenge the young adults while developing a platform for learning, discussion and friendship. The topics were "relationships," "sexuality," "drugs, sex, and clubbing," "life's pressures and stresses," "sacrifices and suffering," "living out your faith (this is when I gave a testimony), and "mystery box." Life Series has really changed my life. I have never been so passionate about an activity before and it has motivated me to find something similar back at school. 

I had breakfast with the lovely Chantal at Starlings, an amazing cafe that you would not know exists because there is not really a sign. These tend to be the best places, though, and this was no exception. Chantal was one of the leaders of Life Series and she has really impacted me in such a great way. She is sweet as a cupcake and very driven in everything she does. 

My twin is safely back home from the Philippines so I have gotten to Skype her, which has been LOVELY. I have also enjoyed the moments I have had with my mom over Skype, when she is able to say just the right thing to make me feel better. I am looking forward to hugging them both really hard. 

I was blessed enough to be able to go on a safari trip with Julia and her family (one of my housemates). It is crazy how God's plan works out. I did not go on my group's safari trip in March, so when this opportunity sprang up, I knew I had to take it. We did some incredible things that are going to stand out in my memory forever. Julia's awesome family welcomed me in like I was one of the cousins. We went to an elephant reserve where we fed the elephants giant vegetables from our palms. Next was bungee jumping at the Bloukrans Bridge, which is the highest commercial natural bungee jump in the world (216 m). I had to go first and it was easily the coolest experience I have ever had. I was surprisingly calm and I really enjoyed the moment. It was a freeing and beautiful experience and I wish I could do it again and again. Next was the lion walk where we got to follow lions around and even stop to pet them. It was NUTS. You are definitely not supposed to pet a lion. Last was the safari, where we drove in an open car and saw all kinds of animals that I have only seen in the zoo—giraffes, rhinos, ostriches and much more. The best were the lions, though; we came within feet of them and I was more nervous than I was bungee jumping, but the driver assured us that they were not hungry. Yikes.

Since Life Series is over, I have started attending Life Teen, which is St. Mike’s youth group that meets Sunday nights after church. I am very grateful for being welcomed into this new community and I am impressed by the joy that the core members have for God and how dedicated they are to showing teens Christ. I love how my friends make it so easy to show my faith because they are so vulnerable and open to God’s love and to spreading it to everyone. They make being faith-filled the norm. When I am with them, I never feel alone.

I have never been one to like math, however my faith is growing exponentially. Before coming here, I grew in my faith by being in community with others. Now, I am growing in my faith in a lot of personal ways. I say the rosary and Divine Mercy Chaplet nearly everyday. Whenever I feel sad, confused, hurt, or frustrated, I talk to God. Whenever I feel joyful, excited, or hopeful, I thank God.  I now realize that God is my source of everything, and, as St. Augustine said, my heart is restless until it rests in the Lord. I feel so fulfilled and complete when I keep God at the front. I am blessed with people here who push me to keep God at the center.

I got to go to dinner with Franci and Amy, who I met through Life Series. They are cousins (but they look nothing alike) and they are beautifully different. We went to Gypsy Café, which is right by my house and I had always wanted to try it out. They have food from a different country each month—this time it was Israel. It was amazing. I am grateful for that time with my two new friends.

I went to my first rugby game and I have to admit, I like it a lot better than football. There is a lot more action and it goes a lot quicker. I cheered on the Stormers, which is Cape Town’s professional team. I even got a poster, a flag, and an autograph from one of the players, so I am now an official fan. Oh, and I saw a man with a Cardinal’s jacket on, so I said “hello!” That was pretty exciting.

~accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;~

It is amazing how the hardships I have faced on this journey all make sense now because I know they fit into God’s plan for me. For example, without the loneliness I had at the beginning, then I would not have relied on God so much and I would not have gotten to know His glory as much as I have.

I have been feeling scared for the unknowns of the future, even though I know I am supposed to trust God’s plan. What activities am I going to dedicate my time to? How long will this “God high” last? Will I still keep my faith steadfast in the hard moments? Will I be able to stay in touch with my new friends when I come back home? Will I be able to come back here? How am I supposed to show the glory of God to those who do not believe? “Trust the Lord completely, and don’t depend on your own knowledge. With every step you take, think about what he wants, and he will help you go the right way.” –Proverbs 3:5-6

Another hardship for me has been trying to process that I will be getting hip surgery this summer. I have a labral tear in both of my hips from running (funny how the things we love the most can cause us the most pain). I will be getting one of them fixed on June 26^th, only a short time after I get back from the experience of a lifetime. It is going to be difficult transitioning from always being on the go, to being sedentary.  HOWEVER. I realize that this is totally happening for a reason. I am going to have the opportunity to do things I have never gotten to do. I want to try to read the whole Bible from back to front. I want to take cello lessons. I want to write letters. I want to read books I have always wanted to read. I realize that just like my lifestyle here has been completely different, my lifestyle back at home will be completely different. Change can be good and I think going into this summer with a good attitude will open my eyes to the grace that can be had from this experience.

~taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;~

One of the biggest lessons I have learned from this experience is that we are called to love all of our brothers and sisters in Christ. This does not just mean your family and friends, but also the lady who works at the coffee shop and the homeless man on the sidewalk. Everyone sins, and even though one sin might seem greater than another sin, both are choosing to turn away from God. So we cannot judge others and we have to always be looking to see how we can better those around us. I am not saying I always do this—in fact, it is something I can definitely work on. “Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven.” –Luke 6:37

~trusting that He will make all things right
 if I surrender to His Will;~


I made a friend this week. Her name is Sarah and she is an American study abroad student. She has surrendered to God, too! We met at my favorite coffee shop, Honeybun (all good things start in a coffee shop). She had a “Young Life” sticker on her laptop and so I asked her about it. This is an international organization whose goal is to meet teens where they are and show them Christ. She got me really interested in it and I am looking forward to possibly being involved with it in St. Louis when I go back. The best friendships are those where you can share your faith like because then you can show your whole self. I am excited to grow in friendship with Sarah—she is one of those special people whose small conversations make a large impact.

~that I may be reasonably happy in this life 
and supremely happy with Him
forever in the next.~

This life brings me great joy. But knowing that heaven awaits me where I will meet my Father with open arms gives me even greater joy. “In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you?” –John 14:2

Amen.

There is even a Seinfeld episode called "Serenity Now."