Thursday, July 3, 2014

ON AND ON IT GOES

I thought my blog was going to end after I got back from Cape Town, but low and behold, here I am, blogging from Iowa. I figure if anything, I can keep my Cape Town family informed of what is going on in this part of the world. I am not sure where to begin, though, because usually my posts are about hiking expeditions, awesome hangouts with my St. Michael's friends, or unique coffee shops; but alas, those mountains, friends, and coffee shops are miles away. I am back at home one of my homes in Des Moines, Iowa (lets be real, Cape Town is also home). I suppose I will let you in on how I am doing being back home, and lucky for me I found a song that describes it perfectly: "Thought Of You" by The Weepies. The gist of the song is that the world keeps moving along, even though you may feel really down and out.

I watch the stars from my window sill
The whole world is moving and I'm standing still

The night is here and the day is gone
And the world spins madly on

Sometimes this song makes me really bummed because I am reminded that all of my Cape Town friends are are still living their lives and things are going as normal, even though I am not there. My heart leaps when I see something on Facebook about a birthday party or a World Cup gathering that I cannot be a part of. But how selfish does that sound (that was a rhetorical question).  I am SO gosh darn lucky to have had the chance to meet the people that I did, and I am thankful that they let me into their lives, even if it was for a short time. I learned the meaning of true friendship from these people. Even though I will continue my life here in the States, I know they will continue walking with me. Friendship doesn't end when the friendship gets difficult. It just requires a little extra effort sometimes. It requires not getting upset when you really want to talk to someone but you realize they are already in bed because they are seven hours ahead of you. It requires praying for each other. It requires sending an emoji of a bunny just because you can. It requires knowing that even if you don't talk for a while, you still love each other.  

The song also makes me happy because it reminds me that even though I have rough moments where all I want to do is hop on the next plane to Cape Town (okay not literally...there are not direct flights there...I am trying to make a point), life continues and change happens. I know something new will spring up into my life to make the days bright again. Cape Town just brought such a light though. Man, I was so happy there. I expected to be on a low when coming back, but I didn’t know it would hurt so badly. Sometimes I lay on the grass in my backyard and I close my eyes and I pretend like I am lying in the yard at the K-House. But like I said, sunnier days are soon to come, I just know it.


I feel like I am back to my first month in Cape Town, when I was so unsure about things and I did not have anybody to talk to about what I was feeling. I talk to God all of the time because He already knows everything I am feeling, so I don’t have to worry about fully explaining myself. From reading the Bible I have come to learn that God does not mind if I yell at him or get angry, which sounds weird, but it is true! God wants us to be honest and let out all of our feelings…and He is not going to judge us at all. He just loves. He is seriously the bees knees I cannot believe that I (and anyone else willing to open their heart to Him) get to be best friends with Him. God knows that I am feeling like a part of my heart is missing (I left it in Cape Town, meh) but I know He has something in store to fill it with. I am excited to see what this is... I will keep you posted…


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